Have you ever been in a new relationship with someone, in the early stages- and found yourself trying all of their favourite things? It starts out as a way to show them you have similar tastes. “Of course, I love pizza with mushrooms and olives!!” Or “I didn’t know you were into vintage axe throwing too?!? What are the chances?”
Soon you’re doing things their way all the time, because you want to make them happy! That’s good, right? You can hardly remember what it was like before you spent all of your spare time doing things you don’t actually love.
This isn’t healthy. Hopefully you have seen where I’m going with this post. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t do things in the way your partner does. You should, however never lose yourself.
In our earlier dating years, we get into relationships lightly. After all, you have your whole life ahead of you! Why not? It’s easy to justify putting your hobbies and interests on hold for that exciting new boo. New love is intoxicating, and it’s easy to get caught up in the magic.
Don’t lose yourself though. This person, this amazing being that you have dedicated your time to needs you. They need you to be more than just a mirror image.
One day this person you have chosen to love will need to turn to you for inspiration. In a weak moment they will need your strength, and you have to have enough left to give it to them. When they doubt themselves, they will have you.
When we rely on our spouse for all of our personal validation we leave a void. The love from another is amazing, and can fuel you through anything life can put in your path. But first comes your love for yourself.
You should believe in yourself. Take pride in your own choices and decisions. Set out goals in your life and let nothing keep you from them. Find and walk your path in life for you, and no one else. Make a plan, step by step for how you will move forward from where you are today.
You can, and will achieve your goals in life. If you believe in yourself, truly- no one can make you doubt that. When you meet these goals, allow yourself to be proud! Celebrate the achievements in life, no matter how small. You worked for them, didn’t you?
The one who loves you, not for who you might be, but for everything you are- that is the one. The one who elevates you to meet your potential, that’s the one that’s real.