Pregnancy. Some people love it, some people hate it. The fact of life is that pregnancy is the reason we are all here today What is pregnancy really like? Is it the same for everyone? Read on…
Pregnancy comes with all kinds of symptoms, changes and new experiences. Even though this is my third (and final) time in the ring- it still blows me away. My baby is growing day by day. Every week brings more changes to my body and my routine. For someone who is only the size of an heirloom tomato, it is incredible how large the affect is on mama bear.
I’ll admit, this pregnancy came as a surprise. Our second daughter took years of trying. It was to the point where we had decided that if it didn’t happen naturally, we would just accept what life offered us. We tested month after month, and each month that passed just brought us yet another failed attempt. We resigned to the idea that it might just not be possible for us. At that point my husband and I just started to try to get back to the roots of our relationship again. We started dating each other, returning to the way we were before we started trying to have a baby in the first place. We would surprise one another with sweet nothings, and make time for movie nights after Shmoop had gone to bed. It’s funny how as soon as you stop focusing on the result, and start focusing on the process, things happen on their own.
Either way, We hadn’t expected to ever have a baby who surprised us. We had talked about having one more child, and we had agreed to be careful until we moved into our new home this year before we even started to try. It seems this baby just couldn’t wait to be a part of the family! Some things are just meant to be. Our girls are so excited for this baby, and they have even given him or her a nickname- Baby Beans.
This pregnancy hasn’t been easy.
I had morning sickness with both of my daughters, but this time was even worse. I couldn’t eat or drink. I was sensitive to every single smell that I came into contact with. I used to love how my husband came home from work smelling like garlic and spices- but I couldn’t even stand to be in the same room with him at the end of the day anymore. I was sick all through the night, and all day every day. I had to go to the doctor to get a prescription just to be able to maintain a healthy weight, because I lost so much weight in such a short time that I began to fear for the baby’s development.
On top of that, I have experienced pains since early on. I like to consider myself as someone who has a relatively high pain tolerance. These pains could bring me to my knees in tears. It seemed like if I lifted anything, or if I pushed myself too hard, the pains would sweep me off my feet. With two little girls in the house, I just can’t afford to put myself out of commission like that. I also seems to experience these pains alongside any stress that I let get to me.
In the early days of my pregnancy I was under a lot of personal stress. We were excited about the baby, and we still are! Unfortunately, though- there was a great deal of stress from an external source that I couldn’t control. Those early days were very difficult. It wasn’t until I began to push myself to reincorporate meditation into my daily life that I was able to get my reaction to that stress under reins and protect myself from the effects.
It hasn’t been easy so far this time, but that doesn’t mean that I have any less excitement. I can’t wait for this baby! I find myself daydreaming about the nursery, and imagining my older children holding the baby or reading stories. I dream about the 5 of us going to the beach and spending the day laughing and playing in the sand. I picture us going camping together, loading the baby up in a sling carrier and going for long hikes. I spend my spare moments thinking of tiny fingers and tiny toes; chubby thighs and lullabies. I think of all the moments in my older children’s lives that I took for granted. I think of how quickly they grew out of the newborn stage, and how the days flew by until they became semi-independent little people.
So, is it worth it?
You wouldn’t think as much from the woes and stress involved in this pregnancy, but I truly love being pregnant. In this short period of time, the baby is mine- and mine alone. I can share with them every moment. I can keep them close and cuddled up every second of the day. I have the ability to feel every shift and shuffle. Over the last little while I have been able to actually feel the tiny one moving around and reacting to life around it! Pregnancy is one of the only truly magic things a person can experience in life. To be so close to another person, that they are actually a part of you is incredible.
A quick word to my baby…
Hello, Beans! Keep things kicking in there. I know one day I will lament the kicks to my ribs, and the constant battle you seem to have with my bladder! For now, every move you make reminds me how important it is to have hope. Every time the doctor shows me your heartbeat- I remember what I am capable of. Even when the times get rough and I feel like I can’t do it- I’ll remember that you are here for a reason.
My job is to help you find out just what that reason is.